Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
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