its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
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