the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
