did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
