You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Randomize
