Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
did i walk over a car last night?
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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