Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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