I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
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