He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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