hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
