no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
