Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
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