yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
