I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
