I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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