Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
