I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
