At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
she smelled like a LAN party
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Randomize
