she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
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