Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
