Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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