Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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