I think i peed on brittanys purse
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize