Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
jump out the window naked night went bad
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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