My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
