Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
