I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize