i permit you to call me
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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