that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
