My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
