I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Randomize