great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
