Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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