fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Randomize
