Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
