And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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