Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
