i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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