Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
