He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
