what day is it and did you see me today?
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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