Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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