I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Are my feet made of real feet?
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
