So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
