I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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