ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
