i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
We have started to decorate penises.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
