wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
