I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize