im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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