Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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