it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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