the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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