I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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