the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
