i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Randomize
