Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
