oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
