Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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