New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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