Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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